SECOND THOUGHTS, IN MY LIFE

April 29, 2008.  Big day, new life, second thoughts, on everything.  It’s an amazing thing when at times you wonder, “Is tomorrow going to be here?”  I’m sure that goes through a lot of people’s minds, at different times, but when you’re lying in a hospital bed with the knowledge that you’re going to get your head drilled into, and a grapefruit sized tumor has to come out, there’s a lot of what I’ve always thought of as “second thoughts’ racing through your mind (or half-mind as it seems).

As funny as it may seem from all of that, things actually seem to make sense.  I’ve had a lot of things that NOW make sense, when there was no sense to it before.  I’ve always thought that I believed that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but for whatever reason, it took a big scar on my head to actually know that.  You get something out of everything, good or bad.  You have to make that decision, how that something is, but trust me,  it can ALWAYS be worse, so that makes me think that something good can happen.  That’s why I tell everyone, (and I try not to yell from my sandbox) if you get a “second chance”, GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS.  If it changes your life, LET IT-CHANGE IS GOOD.  No one said life would be easy, but damn, it is good, and when it seems to be coming together a little bit more, it has to change again!  So o.k. change, bring it on!

This entry was posted in Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to SECOND THOUGHTS, IN MY LIFE

  1. admin says:

    Good stuff, Godspeed Scott.

  2. scott says:

    There’s a lot of stuff that eventually wants to come out. So O.K., in time it will. But there’s still a whole lot that still is forming it’s way to the top.

    So here I was, ready to start the blog on the last surgery,(April 29, 2008), and then we find out that, “Hey, we have to go back in there, grab ANOTHER tumor, and we’ll pull that one out,too!” Then there was more news, stuff that we should all know about, but it just came out like blah, blah, blah….

    So the Dr., Dr. Isaac Yang of the UCLA Medical Bldg, very astutly asked, “So when do you want to do this, 1-2 days???” I was thinking, O.K., let me take a little trip, do this, do that, whatever, come back maybe by the end of the year, and it all ties in. Not so much. Dr. Yang says now, so it must be now. And he doesn’t fool around . He comes in, makes his position known, and off we go. He says that we have to have 2 MRI’s and angioplastic, all of this the day before the operation. Then the operation, and the ICU, and then you’re out of there, and back to your room. It’s all in a day work. And it does work; you don’t have any concerns, any doubts, nothing. You’re just lying there, and very knowingly, say o.k., let’s go through this, now, so I can get back to a familiar football game. It sounds so simple, and it is, with these guys, that’s how they operate.

    So then you wake up in the ICU; you’re really just coming back in. But the nurses are just unbelievable, just unbelievable. They are there, 24 hours a day if needed, whatever, to suit your needs. I was needing particular care as I came off the asthetic from the surgery, probably every hour or so. From blood test, to blood suger, to finding where the insulin is, to seeing where the blood flow wants to stay, this was all happening now. This time was so much smoother than last. Once I came out of all of the surgery state, I was immediately hungery, (mind you, I haven’t had any food in the last two and a half-three days). So once I had a “sauce” go around, about an hour later, I asked if I could have another meal, had that, too. A few hours later, lunch, then a couple of dinners. You’re just waiting for food at that point. And their saying o.k., to all of that. UCLA is an unbelievable Medical Center. They only strive for the top, they are on top, and you don’t even start to degrade where they are; unbelievable.

    After all of this starts to wear off on you, well, you start to wear down a little bit. It’s due, but you just think that you’re going to stay on top of your little wear and tear world, and you just have to listen to your body. You only do what you can do, and leave it go at that. You can stay able to abide by a few rules, and then come down, or try to stay on top, but really, just due what is in your heart, in your mind, and in your soul; and go only where your body takes you.

  3. Kandy says:

    Hey Scott,

    I’m an old friend of Michael’s and just saw his post on FaceBook with a link to your blog. I just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. You have such a great attitude and that can go pretty far. Take good care and know there are perfect strangers out here rooting for you! Hugs…

  4. Scott says:

    Yesterday we actually played poker; it was fun, I think that I actually pulled in about even at the end of the night. It was fun, seeing as though after 3-4 hours, I was starting to get a little tired. The poker players, Paul, Michael, Ron, myself. By the end of the night, all right, let’s go home and call it a night.

    So many times I go to a poker game, play poker, and head on end to another day. Every day, now, it seems to take on a new perspective. Probably every little thing will. By the way, that’s not a bad thing; I do believe that little thing has it’s own little place in this universal world. Time after time, people just kind of go on. There’s a bit of that, but people, realize that stuff CAN happen every day. Just try to realize that in this world, things really do mean a little something. I don’t try to mean that there’s a CERTAIN something going on, but I’ll you, a little thing here and little thing there can mean the difference between you going out and trying your heart out, or not trying at all.

    Think about all of this; do we just try to commit ourselves to get through the day, or do we try to just go out, really enjoy the day, enjoy the activity or enjoy what ever it is that we are doing. Do it guys, actually go and enjoy your day!! This is great stuff!!

  5. scott says:

    Yesterday, Monday, is when I was supposed to go in, have the stitches taken out, maybe go up to the check-out Rehab. services, and also find out a little bit about the radiation services. Let’s see, here’s how it ended up: Leave the stitches in at least a few more days, the Check-Up Rehab was good for at least a few more days, and we’re not anywhere in site of radiation technology. In a strange world, it does make some sort of sense; it just doesn’t put all of the pieces together.

    It seems that the incision is still a bit more swollen that it should be. I thought that might make sense, hopefully that would end in a couple of days. There was one girl who normally takes the stitches out; she didn’t really like her early obversations, so she had her superior take a view. The second gal also had the same operations. So O.k., now the stitches take on a few extra days, to go into Dr. Yang’s office, and hopefuly these all come out on Wednesday. I guess one way or another, these will come out within another week. Hopefully, we’ll also get some answeres toward the radiation, and also the re-hab. The one thing that I can say, is how much these are itching. Man, I just want to scratch these things!! Like I said, not too much longer.

    Tomorrow will actually be the first time that I meet with Dr. Yang. since the operation. I want to hear what he has to say, he never really tries to hide to much. Once we get all of that info out, then I suppose we can get all of the other materials out, also. Dr. Yang does tend to go heavy one way or another, he just opens up.

    I’ll write a little more, once I get to a little more info. Until tomorrow, I’ll speak to you soon,

    Scott

  6. Marcy Ayanian says:

    Hi Scott,

    I’m not sure if I should send you messages on this site or on CaringBridge. Anyway, thank you for the update. This must be a frustrating time for you, when all you want to do is get back to your life! I’m glad Dr. Yang is a straight-shooter. Then you know you’re “in” on everything that’s going on. I have a friend who had an aneurysm once. As he was being rushed into surgery, his doctor (Dr. Chin) said, “You probably die. I try save you.” And he did! My friend has told that story over and over, it makes him laugh so much. I hope everything you hear from Dr. Yang will be encouraging.

    Sending positive thoughts your way,
    Marcy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *