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DIALOGUE…

Dialogue; v.  take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem...

Monologue; n.   a long, tedious speech by one person during a conversation…

Very interesting definitions between these two words; I think that we see them quite a bit, and sometimes they can happen in the same conversation.  I find dialogue to be something very stimulating, interesting, and even educational.  It can be very helpful when a situation arises, and when two (or more) people converse, most of the time different ideas come from different people, and then the dialogue becomes essential to come to the best solution of that conversation.  It would be nice if we could all resort to that type of a conversation.  As I’ve come to realize that quite a bit of dialogue turns into monologue, and from the monologue, their also tends to be judgement.  Judgement usually comes from a one sided view, and usually doesn’t allow a response.  Personally, I can honestly say that every time that I make a judgement call, whether I’m driving and make judgement without knowing what that person just went through, or classifying someone on their appearance, or really ANYTHING, I am 100% wrong; totally, totally wrong.  I know that, because of the second I do that,  I feel it in my gut.  There will be some who might say that they haven’t had that feeling before, but we all have to realize that “a lie doesn’t become truth, just because it’s accepted by a majority.” (Booker T. Washington). If you have a religious belief, and have a bible, go to Luke 6: 37, “Stop judging and you will not be judged.  Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”  This action of forgiving is sometimes very hard, but once you do this, so much peace is in your heart, rather than hatred, quick tempered, using evil words when one talks…it’s hard but it works.  Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve also found a peace with dialogue.

“A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger.”  Proverbs 15:1

Dialogue generally produces “gentle answers”.  We might disagree on the topic, but big deal, wisdom comes out when a dialogue is unemotional; answers that have emotion usually come from opinions, and then, my friends we come into a monologue!  We learn nothing, we hear nothing, we feel nothing.  Our opinionated, emotional answers are heard by no one, ( but ourselves, of course!).  Try this, when a situation comes up with someone who happens to be a friend, (a REAL friend mind you), and you are differing on the answer that you want and you might want to interrupt and give your quick response, stay silent.  Remember to use the word  “THINK”, remember when I wrote an article with the word THINK :

T   Is it True

H   Is it Helpful

I   Is it Inspiring

N   Is it Necessary

K   Is it Kind

These are very simple rules, your rules , that can make a conversation True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and KIND!  You learn! Everyone has ears and they use them; make those words engaging to hear.  It’s very hard to leave a conversation when you’re listening to a monologue.  Sometimes silence is the great communicator, even for a few seconds.  Throwing out kind words invites dialogue again, and usually tempers start to become gentile again.

I still love dialogues, we learn something every time we have one.  I also know that some of our “friendly” chat lines abounds in monologues, with a lot of “heat” involved.  Let’s try to use the word THINK.  Trust me, after having 3 brain tumors, I can’t stand listening to MYSELF doing a monologue!  I look for the other side to help me out, so let’s stay simple, let’s actually be friends.

 

Friends and Blessings,

Scott

www.everythingisgoingtobealright.com

 

2 Comments

  • Michael

    I find that when I try to help someone, I usually am trying to fix something because I care for the person I have having the conversation with. I am not sure that my fix really helps that person but that is what I try to do. Most likely the person we are trying to help will just be thankful that the other person cares enough to even try. There is one person I know that this scenario comes to mind that I’ve talked to for some time. One day I asked them if my suggestions ever help. They told me that they appreciated that I was trying to help but my words did not change their dilemma. This person them told me they were going and paying for a phycologist for help them. So I sked what tools or suggestions the phycologist offered and if it “worked”. I found out the phycologist just listens. I think in the future I will just listen and keep my mouth shut thus saving my friend some money that they could use elsewhere to enjoy themselves.

    • admin

      @Michael, I agree. My son and I had exactly the same conversation and I asked the same question as you did. I was tough to hear that I should only listen. Fathers especially want to do something for their kids.

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