Do you believe?  Big question, lots of answers.  I guess this can apply to various items in everyone’s life.  It has in mine.  I went over 30 years without going to church, for many reasons, too.  Now, there hasn’t been a week, ( of going to church) that I’ve missed in 5 years, ( well, almost 5 years, April 29th will be my 5th anniversary since my first surgery!).  I am so, so grateful for what the Lord has provided for me.  After that first surgery, the only thing that was on my mind, was driving myself so hard, meaning (to myself), ” I’m winning, nothing can beat me!!”, just so I can get back to work, and I did.  This was what my next 6 months was all about, but the truth is, I actually enjoyed that mode of my life!  Think about it; I got out of the hospital on May 3, 2008, and the weather was SO nice!  So every day, I worked out on the beach; I needed to get back my balance and stability.  I did that all the way through, to October.  It was a “great” summer!  What I didn’t know at the time, was that I was growing another tumor;  but also not knowing how much I learned about rehabbing disabilities like I had at that point in time.  You want to know what’s funny?  I’ve never mentioned my condition as a “disability”, but it was, and I have to own up to it.  So there you have it, I have a disability!  Like I said, I learned a lot.  It’s funny how life can make a turn, without you watching it, because something else seems to be your “goal” or ambition.  My point here, is, try to be observant about what’s going on in your life.  Yes, have goals, ambitions, whatever you want to call them, but also stay open to the actual events that’s going on RIGHT NOW.  Do you feel well; is anything different with your thinking… I’m just throwing things out there, but I think you know where I’m going with this.

Let’s go back to,  my going back to church.  I had several disagreements with the Catholic church’s protocol; still do.  What I am finding out now, is how much I missed these past 30 years, by not understanding MY mass!  I could recite the mass, but I had no idea what it meant, now I’m getting it, maybe just a little, anyway.  I still have my issues, but I’m learning how to deal with them.  Catholic, Jewish, Seventh Day, Latter Day: it doesn’t matter, they ALL have issues that you have to deal with if that’s your believe.  Listen, I’m NOT trying to be on an apple crate and preach to you, I’m just trying to tell you how I DO believe in GOD, always did!  It just took half my brain to go away to realize how much truth I have in the Lord.  That’s the point here, try not let a catastrophe (my surgery) bring your awareness to NOW.  Don’t drive somewhere, get to your destination, and have no recollection of the drive, because of your mind being somewhere in outer space.  It’s very important, you really start to think on the positive things around.  Really, it’s so much easier to smile at someone, let out a sigh if he/she “wronged” you, than to try and retaliate.  Plus, it might make you feel much better, when you can “up” the stakes, each and every time something happens like that.

I learned a lot from my medical situations, my “disabilities”.  I learned how to respond to whatever is happening to me NOW; I have to, some things try to keep coming back (medically).  I’m actually a “caregiver” to myself, and I owe all of that to our MAN UPSTAIRS.  My life has changed; I never wanted myself to say that, but that 2nd surgery put my thinking in that mode.  We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so let’s all just keep it positive, it sure makes my life a little easier.  It also keeps me at peace knowing that when my time comes, to carry on in my belief of another place, I’m very fine with that.  We all should think about that, when it’s comfortable for your conscious to go there.

What I’m going to attach, is a man’s story on how he became his wife’s caregiver, never knowing what he’ll endure.  Very touching.  He had been reading some of these blogs, and wrote me to tell his story.  I checked it out, and the facilities, and it’s all true; so God bless him, and his family, for what he, and others have done.  I didn’t realize how much others had for me after the 1st surgery until a few years ago.  I had a lot of angels in my life, some only for a short while, but they were there when they needed to be, or when I needed them to be there.  How did they know to be there?  I think you might be able to figure that one out.

I want you all to have a great day; read this, and know that we all could be in his place, or worse..

Have a wonderful day!!!

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